This smile can’t hide my broken memory, as the light bulb flickers in the corner of my darkened room. I’m still here but but people keep on walking by, a hint a invisibility, and my mind wanders to another place another time. When I awake, my eyes burn with a deep restrictive glow, a symptom [...]]]> This smile can’t hide my broken memory, as the light bulb flickers in the corner of my darkened room. I’m still here but but people keep on walking by, a hint a invisibility, and my mind wanders to another place another time. When I awake, my eyes burn with a deep restrictive glow, a symptom of this modern paranoia, a symptom of my delusional self. I reach out to make sense of my new surroundings but my sense of touch has faded to a dull thud. As my anxiety begins to intoxicate me, as I look towards the floor for a semblance of orientation, but all I see are stars. An array of lights spinning below me, out of control yet in total equilibrium. This is a vision. This is my vision.

(May 2004)

A deathly stare from across this lonely room, but its anger is lost on me today. I sit in the most indecipherable air of thoughtfulness, cold yet warm from the tattered memories that run in sequence through my mind’s eye. Images of people, times and places merge into a haze of equilibrium, soft to my [...]]]> A deathly stare from across this lonely room, but its anger is lost on me today. I sit in the most indecipherable air of thoughtfulness, cold yet warm from the tattered memories that run in sequence through my mind’s eye. Images of people, times and places merge into a haze of equilibrium, soft to my smile, as another tear falls onto this flooded wooden floor.

(May 2004)

Walking past reflections of a life I once lived, transparent images of friends and the ones I once loved. This road seems never-ending, but I’m not looking for a way out, I’m just walking further than I ever have before. Past the old brick houses down memory lane, waving goodbye to the old lady sitting [...]]]> Walking past reflections of a life I once lived, transparent images of friends and the ones I once loved. This road seems never-ending, but I’m not looking for a way out, I’m just walking further than I ever have before. Past the old brick houses down memory lane, waving goodbye to the old lady sitting out in the street who’s vacant stare is frozen in the past. For once my legs don’t feel heavy, I’m moving freely with purpose and thoughts of thinking lay discarded in the dust. The horizon seems nearer than it ever has before, a gentle red layered onto a perfect deep blue, broken occasionally by slowly drifting clouds, steadily moving along in total synchronisation with every step I make. I feel at home, I feel alone. I feel released.

(July 2004)

Another road, another broken dream shattered to dust, slipping through hollow fingers, falling randomly to the floor. A glance skywards captures the waning moon, perfectly painted in hues unimaginably sublime. It had never felt so cold as it did that winters night, tear-drops frozen, an emotion suspended in eternity like an old photograph, hopelessly caught [...]]]> Another road, another broken dream shattered to dust, slipping through hollow fingers, falling randomly to the floor. A glance skywards captures the waning moon, perfectly painted in hues unimaginably sublime. It had never felt so cold as it did that winters night, tear-drops frozen, an emotion suspended in eternity like an old photograph, hopelessly caught in time. Fragments of fractured memories drift into a pre-occupied mind, seemingly unrelated, imaginatively correlated, this time I’m not coming down. I had dreamt a thousand dreams, yet stars still spelt out puzzles like abandoned lighthouses on an endless shore. Perhaps I should never have let your hand go, but I knew you’d be back one perfect day. Perhaps we look upon the same star tonight, a undeniable vision that illuminates hopeful eyes so bright.

(December 2004)

We made new years resolutions in the sand but the sea just washed them away. No memory, no meaning, we lived for the moment without fear or reprise. The future looked on with expectancy as we looked out to sea, walking the shoreline like children again. We once believed in something magical and free. Little [...]]]> We made new years resolutions in the sand but the sea just washed them away. No memory, no meaning, we lived for the moment without fear or reprise. The future looked on with expectancy as we looked out to sea, walking the shoreline like children again. We once believed in something magical and free. Little did we know we would find it in our dreams. Never stop dreaming, never stop loving, never stop believing in me, and I’ll never stop believing in you.

I dream of perfect turquoise skies and green lollipop stick trees, swaying gently without reason or rhyme. The air is warm and welcoming, as English garden birds chirp enchanting songs. A dream it may be, but I live through my dreams, fleeting images that shimmer with hope and salvation, an escape from my cube. It may [...]]]> I dream of perfect turquoise skies and green lollipop stick trees, swaying gently without reason or rhyme. The air is warm and welcoming, as English garden birds chirp enchanting songs. A dream it may be, but I live through my dreams, fleeting images that shimmer with hope and salvation, an escape from my cube.
It may sound like folly to suggest such an existence, yet I find solace in the world of my mind, perfect blue buildings and castles made of sand. Age is irrelevant in this land, as there are no mirrors to shatter or imprison our souls. We laugh, we cry, we kiss and die, yet we are reborn every single moment anew. Life here is more than I could ever describe, it’s a feeling of contentment, sprinkled with petals of desire. Memory comes and goes as do the tides, the one constant being the permanent warmth of love.

“Love for nature, love for life, and love for whomever you call your wife. Someone once said that love was forever, here in this garden, love is the weather.”

I hope that you someday find your way here, as the molten cheese sunset merges into night. I’ve been to many places in my life; I’ve experienced darkness, despair and fright. Stars suspended in celebrity skies, broken hearts and inconsolable pain. This journey is neither north, south, east nor west, it can’t be found on any of your maps. Close your eyes and allow the light to pass, experience nothingness till your last breathe. I live in a place of dreams, with candy-floss snow and Disneyland themes. Entry is not based on the person you’ve been, but your ability to conjure creative scenes.